I wrote a paragraph in four different ways. Now I have to pick one version.

option 1

We begin with the uncomfortable task of having to climb in, over a literal barrier, without any clothes to soften accidental contact. And yet, clearing this hurdle is not merely a matter of stepping high and long. Because on the other side of the barrier one must balance onefooted on standing surface mutated by the tub into a skinny and smooth ramp with sloping edges. It’s shockingly inhospitable ground considering its primary aim is to allow a bipedal, softskinned animal to stand barefoot while being showered in water and to contort while applying lubricants that ooze dangerously downwards onto an already slick slope. But we’re used to it, so we don’t notice its unfriendly design.

option 2a

To begin, the showerer must step over a barrier and balance onefooted on a slippery slant. Immediately, the tub has warped the ideal shower in three ways. Firstly, it introduced a literal, physical obstacle for getting into the shower. Not a promising start. To compound on the perils of this first corruption, the tub then mutated the ideal flat ground into a skinny ramp with sloping edges. It then had the gall to forbid the use of tiles or any other higher friction material that might compensate for the hostility it has introduced to the terrain, whose primary aim, lest we forget, is to allow a bipedal, softskinned animal to stand barefoot while being showered in water and contort while applying lubricants that ooze downwards onto the standing ground. Suddenly, the tubshower is looking less like clever design and more like an ambush.

option 2b

The tub warps the ideal shower in three major ways. Firstly, it introduces a literal, physical obstacle that forces the showerer to climb, rather walk, in. Not a promising start. To compound on the inconvenience of this first corruption, the tub then mutates the ideal flat ground into a skinny ramp with sloping edges. It then has the gall to forbid the use of tiles or any other higher friction material that might compensate for the hostility it has introduced to the terrain, whose primary aim, lest we forget, is to allow a bipedal, softskinned animal to stand barefoot while being showered in water and contort while applying lubricants that ooze downwards onto the standing ground. From this perspective, the tubshower looks less like clever design and more like an ambush.

option 2c

The tub warps the ideal shower in three major ways. Firstly, it introduces a literal, physical obstacle that forces the showerer to climb in. Not a promising start. Compounding on this first inconvenience, the tub then mutates the ideal flat ground into a skinny ramp with sloping edges. But it doesn’t stop there. It then has the gall to forbid the use of tiles or any other grippy material that would at least allow the showerer to get some traction with the sole of their foot when stepping into this unexpectedly hostile terrain, whose primary aim, lest we forget, is to allow a bipedal, softskinned animal to stand barefoot while being showered in water and contort while applying lubricants that ooze downwards onto the standing ground. From this perspective, the tubshower looks less like clever design and more like an ambush.