Without self-esteem a man is just a black hole. He is a devouring force that consumes with greed and makes nothing of it. From low self-esteem arises the desperate and unabating appetite for money, power, women, status, all the proxy symbols of worth. Those most successful at accumulating these things may feel for a while the fantasy of supremacy (invulnerability) coming true. Those less able become leeches and parasites that feed on those around them to bolster their feeling of adequacy.

Regardless of one’s position in this food chain, however, life is a desperate task. Every endeavour becomes a stage for bitter competition, every interaction a sparring match if not a duel. Ground to prove one’s worth by coming out on top of someone else. I think from this personal outlook flows the force of what bell hooks calls the dominator culture of the patriarchy, which deprives humanity from everyone no matter their position in the hierarchy.

A person who begins the day with a feeling of adequacy sees no danger in the ordinary. The unfamiliar is not by default a threat or a trap. Such a person can be openminded because learning is not proof of their foolishness. They can recognize their mistakes because doing so does not trigger feelings of worthlessness or self-loathing. They can be empathetic because they aren’t suspicious. They can respond because they don’t need to defend. They can love because they trust they will not perish for casting their concern beyond themselves.