what I'm doing now #16
Gearing down.
gearing down
I find myself coming down a wave of energy, waning in my motivation for work after a multiweek surge to solve various technical challenges. I have learned a lot and shed insight into heretofore unknown problems in our system, but I still haven’t solved the main problem. Week after week I resumed work with appetite and drive, but now I feel a bit deflated and tired.
I am consciously riding this ebb in energy without panicking or chastising myself because I know it’s part of my natural rhythm. In the past I’ve responded with worry and guilt, which have only drained me further. This time I’m trying to adapt to it instead of resisting or rejecting it.
Instead of responding reactively by hounding myself to keep up the pace or reacting avoidantly by procrastinating work in general, I am trying to respond with composure. I am allowing the intensity of my workrate to subside without letting it stall. To do so I am allowing myself the small periods of rest as I need them so that I can continue making incremental progress without overdrawing from my energy reserves. I am letting my mind wander and indulging my curiosity so that motion can result naturally from unforced motivation.
Maybe I’ll
start a nonprofit futsal leaguehow to come up with ideas #3
Fifteen minutes before a work meeting I wander out into the neighborhood to sit idly in the sunshine. I settle on a boulder in the park across the street and find myself looking at the bike polo rink and the small netted goals lockchained to its edge. There a few months prior my friend and I played an impromptu pickup game with some neighborhood kids and on another day with another friend I returned to kick a ball around. I play soccer regularly in a local league but somewhat regret the cost, which seems too high especially considering there are no referees. Because of that, I sometimes daydream about starting a grassroots nonprofit soccer league and now sitting in the park looking at the bike polo rink I slip back into that daydream.
What about a nonprofit futsal league? I rarely see the rink in use. The goals are there, I’d just need to request or rent them. Those smaller ones look perfect, no goalkeeper would be necessary. Already on the rink’s surface there are lines demarcating the little zones where the goals should be placed. To prevent players from squatting on the goalline there could be a rule disallowing players from entering the zone, it’s a fairly common one in smallsided games. But then the game would probably devolve into bickering about whether someone stepped across the line or not. When it’s up to the players to call fouls there’s always one that spends half the game a partisan referee. Better minimize the number of rules. I could post flyers around the neighborhood to gauge interest. Just last night I saw a woman posting flyers on lightposts and then pedaling off down the road, probably to the next intersection where posted flyers were likely to be noticed. I could call it the Cooper Park Futsal League, its location would be right there in the name. It could start here and then federate out to other neighborhood parks as awareness and interest burgeons. But really I should just start with a proof of concept. A one-off game among friends. It would be so easy. I could do it right now. Walk home, text my friends, set a date, and book the rink online. I don’t mind coughing up the startup cost of a futsal ball. But we don’t even need that yet. We can just start with a regular soccer ball.
in my neighborhood. Or not. I don’t have to. Regardless, such daydreams generate a mild excitement that serves as cheap fuel to carry me forward and prevent my stagnation. Better to maintain modest momentum than let things come to standstill until I can muster a jolt to start again.